


Comfort

by WickedUniverse



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark Sides, Fluff, Other, Pride, before accepting anxiety, envy - Freeform, sympathetic deceit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:10:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedUniverse/pseuds/WickedUniverse
Summary: “The yellow and brown eyes looked…..curious, pitiful. He felt more comfort from those than he did with the orange and green ones, but, then again…the yellow and brown eyes were untrustworthy. They had a false sense of secureness about them. They all did. But being alone in the void, really they were all this cloud of fear had. They had become normal, and his sense of fear and uncertainty melted away. They were comforting. They had lulled him asleep at nights, calmed him when he was feeling extra jittery. They were all he had.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Time doesn’t pass the same for Virgil as it does for everyone else. He’s been in the ‘void’ from Thomas’s birth to about 10/11. The whole him getting used to everything feels like days, but really it’s years that he’s been getting used to everything.
> 
> Note 2: I’ve been writing this on and off for around a month, perhaps a bit more. I’ve had so many ideas on the direction of this and it’s changed probably like five times and each time it gets longer. You may be able to tell that the direction shifts often, I am terribly sorry for that!
> 
> Note 3: As of posting this, I’m still not done, the other parts should come out eventually!

Things had started out dark, a void. This was before he had a physical form, before he had a name. Here, he was alone, he was just fear, he was just instinct. He knew there were others. The ones who resided in the light…. He liked visiting the light. He could watch from their shadows. The happy cat obsessed one seemed nice…the prince one was so brave, something he wished he had. The smart one was someone to look up to. That one seemed to…..almost sense his presence. He was too fearful to stay around him long.

The void was nice. Lonely, but it was secure, it was safe. Or at least, it was. He wasn’t really alone. Glowing orbs in the darkness told him this. Orange, green, a single yellow, and a single brown. The soft light was comforting, yet the way the orbs watched him was unsettling. They heightened his feelings. He didn’t like it.

The yellow and brown eyes looked…..curious, pitiful. He felt more comfort from those than he did with the orange and green ones, but, then again…the yellow and brown eyes were untrustworthy. They had a false sense of secureness about them. They all did. But being alone in the void, really they were all this cloud of fear had. They had become normal, and his sense of fear and uncertainty melted away. They were comforting. They had lulled him asleep at nights, calmed him when he was feeling extra jittery. They were all he had.

It took a few years, but something had happened in their Host’s life that finally allowed this cloud of fear a physical form. Fight or flight, and this fear ball chose flight. He was terrified, the mass swirling and growing as his fear heightened. It had been for days. Phobia after phobia being triggered and found in Thomas’s life. Now, a bullying incident. Things had started falling in place. Panic set in, and he made Thomas run. It was growing more and more clear that he wasn’t just fear, not just instinct. He was anxiety, panic, dread.

The mass bubbled and swirled. A humanoid form started to form. The mass felt ground below him. That was new. Color flushed through him, seeping up into him. He could see his hands…he had hands, a body. Color swirled and seeped into the area around him, and slowly all the eyes disappeared from view. Dark strands of something fell into his view. Hair. Words pounded into his head. Ow…pain. Headache. Anxiety? That was…what he was? He was more than just that. More pain. He felt something wet fall down his face. Tears. His arms wrapped around himself, and he soon found that he was in a weighted article of clothing…a hoodie. He hugged himself, his form shaking.

Was Thomas okay? What was this? He tried to speak but his voice caught in his throat. He had no comfort. The eyes were gone. What was going on? Why was he physical? Was. Thomas. Okay? Tears fell from his face and he managed to sob. Suddenly, he knew what was happening. Panic attack.

It was a very unwelcoming way to become more apart of Thomas’s being. The eyes had returned to the corners of his room, watching him. They were what finally pulled the anxious trait to reality again. He had a room, he was physical. Hands, a face, a body! It was exciting to him. The room was open to decoration, but more importantly, there was a door. Could….could it possibly be to the light? The thought thrilled him and he got up, stumbling to the door.

He reached for the handle, but froze. The weight of dread and fear started to overwhelm him. What if that’s not what lied out there? What if….there were too many what ifs. He slowly backed up from the door, and found himself falling. A scream escaped his lips, the side ready for impact, but, instead he heard squeaks and he bounced. Oh…it was just a bed. His bed. When he thought about it, warm, soft blankets appeared and curled around him. The weight of the blankets slowly helped him fall asleep. The soft glowing eyes in the darkness of his room helped.

Days were spent in his room. He was making it….comforting. The walls were covered in posters of things he thought were cool. A lot of cat references. The whole time, those glowing orbs watched his every move. He tried to get close but they’d disappear. Maybe for the best.

His room was dark, no real light sources around. The only one being from the soft glow of these eyes. It was fine though. Anxiety liked the dark, the night. It was…it had become comforting, natural. It’s all he ever saw, all he dreamed of.

His eyes drifted back to his door. The idea thrilled and scared him. What was out there? Could it be the light he had seen in the void? He hoped it was. They seemed so…nice. It seemed nice. But could he really just, join in? No…they already had a ‘family’. They wouldn’t want someone new.

Curiosity got to him soon enough, and Anxiety soon found his hand on the door handle, and slowly he twisted it, stepping out. The place looked….familiar, but it certainly wasn’t light. There was hardly any light at all, though the rooms and layout seemed similar to what he once saw in the light.

“I…”

Anxiety froze, hand moving to his throat. Speaking felt…weird, he sounded….hoarse, he sounded strange. But, he tried again.

“Is….anyone here…?”

He was quiet, but there was no response. Everything in him told him to scurry back into his room and continue to hide away, it was safe there, but he couldn’t hide forever, not really. He could sure try, but the desperate hope that those he had seen were here, but….this wasn’t the same house he had grown accustomed to watching in the void. It was a bit darker, monotone in color. The lovely reds, purples, and blue decorations he had once seen weren’t here, an ugly mix of other colors were left. Greens, oranges, yellows..

His heart leaped and he turned on his heel, running back to his door. Rather than getting to his door, he ran straight into another body. Anxiety stumbled back, looking up at the taller figure. Bright orange eyes met his. He tried not to make eye contact for long, looking this taller side over. Untucked white shirt….ripped black jeans, square framed glasses, orange speckled scales trailing his cheek bones. His eyes trailed back up. That orange looked familiar… The taller male tsked, rolling his eyes as he pushed past Anxiety. He called out, causing Virgil to tense up from the firm and booming voice.

“Fresh meat!”

Footsteps went down the stairs, each step sounding like its own boom of thunder. Two doors at the end of the hall shot open, one door adorned with golden snakes, the other with stickers of different reptiles, mainly snakes. Anxiety’s flight or fight kicked in, but he only froze up, watching as two faces popped past the door. They looked…older than Thomas was, or at least since Anxiety had last seen Thomas. At least just young teens. How…how long had he been in his room?

The one dressed in yellow ran up to Anxiety, who flinched and shielded himself. Their faces were partly covered in scales. Half of the yellow one’s face was covered in soft green scales, the green one had golden scales on the other half of his face. Why did they all have scales?

Anxiety took a fearful step back from them, eyes frantically darting over the two.

“You look absolutely…”

The yellow one trailed off, concentrating on something for a moment, the green one rolled his eyes.

“You look absolutely horrendous.Your eyes are so uncool and your scales are dull.”

The yellow one spoke in a tone…that seemed to imply the opposite of what he said. Anxiety thought it over, looking the yellow one over. Scales? He didn’t have scales…

“What…” Anxiety’s voice was soft and quiet, though it sounded doubled over, dark, “What scales? And…what about my eyes?”

The green one rolled his eyes and gave a sneer. The yellow one looked to him, elbowing his side, getting the green one to speak up.

“The purple scales under your eyes. They’re bright and vivid…so much cooler than our dumb scales. Your eyes are a bright white-“

He doesn’t remember having scales…and he certainly didn’t have white eyes. Anxiety tried to step back, looking at his door which was just behind the two. If he could just get past them… A yellow gloved hand suddenly grabbed his arm, Anxiety met the yellow ones eyes. He saw his mouth moving, but words hadn’t registered. Fear and panic bubbled up within Anxiety and he squeezed his eyes shut, covering his face with a hand.

He heard the green one but….from far away. He opened his eyes and looked around, finding that he had some how popped into his room. That was…useful. He moved over to his door, pressing his ear to it, listening to the two outside of it.

“Come on Deceit, leave him alone for now. I don’t get why he has your attention. That doors been here for years.”

“Because Envy! He’s come out so many times before! I am not interested. He doesn’t share a color with one of the other sides. Isn’t that normal?”

“Dunno. Don’t care. Come on, leave him alone.”

“Ugh, whatever. Let’s not go.”

Their voices got quieter as they seemingly left the room. Anxiety slumped against the door, chest heaving as he recovered from his panicked state. That was enough adventuring. He tried, it didn’t go well…it was time to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Anxiety soon grew used to those he lived with. He learned that the one in yellow was Deceit. He never gave a straight answer for his name, but he seemed to enjoy giving names of his favorite musicians. Everyone called him ‘Dee’. The green one was Envy, and he only let Dee call him ‘Ennie’. The taller orange one he had seen was Pride. Dee and Envy seemed to call him Tiger Face. He seemed to be the lead in the household.

Pride reminded him of the dark blue one from the light. Well dressed, smart, glasses, though Pride had a huge ego. He cooked them food on occasion, but was mainly found reading or writing alone.

Envy reminded him of the red one from the light. His outfit had been almost identical if not for the complete color swap. He even wore a bare vine crown sometimes. A black prince like outfit, with golden accents and a green belt.

Dee’s personality most reminded him of the light blue one. For being Deceit, Dee was horrible at lying. He often slipped up and told the truth, he had to think about his lies, and it was obvious when he lied. It didn’t take long for Anxiety to find out that he could shape shift. It was spot on how much it looked like he was looking into the mirror when he opened the door. The only difference was a forked tongue, blepped past Dee’s lips.

He found out more about himself. He seemed to heavily rely on the fight or flight system, having no real control of whether his body decided to fight, run, or freeze up. He also found that in high states of anxiousness, panic, and fear that his eyes went white. Plus, Dee had been right. He had scales right under his eyes. Something he didn’t remember having until he left his room. He didn’t remember the sides in the light having those either.

Anxiety hadn’t seen the light for awhile… He did find out where to look. His window peered straight into the light, but it had just...been awhile. He hadn’t seen those strange eyes either, though thinking back...they were awfully similar to Dee, Envy, and Pride’s eyes. The thought made him curious. Had they been watching him as he...developed? Or had they been guiding him? It was something he would rather not dwell on.

Anxiety heard a knock on his door. He only had so many guesses as to who could be there, and he no longer worried or was scared. This was his...home. As much as he had hoped and dreamed of being on the light, being surrounded by these three wasn’t all too bad. They were a bit over dramatic and...extra but they were good company. He twisted the handle, opening up the door to see a certain snake, grinning at him.

Anxiety chuckled, opening the door to let Dee in.

“Do you ever have a light on, Anx?”

“Nope. At least, never the main one.”

Deceit groaned and found his way to Anxiety’s bed, throwing himself on it. The purple clad side chuckled and sat beside him. They both had been having a rough week. Thomas started his sophomore year not long ago. The stress of homework and tests were getting to Anxiety, and Deceit had to come up with a lot to make Anxiety and the rest feel better. 

“Why don’t we go to the imagination?”

“Imagination?”

“Yeah! It’s a real bore, Anx. It’s really not that cool.”

Anxiety chuckled softly. Dee was really bad with his lies.

“Sure. Let’s go. I have no idea how to get there.”

“I planned on showing you. There’s an entrance in my room. Thomas got his ability to act from somewhere.”

“Mhm. Come on, show me.”

Anxiety got up, offering his hand to Dee, who grabbed his hand. Anxiety pulled him up, and Dee rushed to the door, dragging the purple side along with him. This...scared and excited Anxiety at the same time. It had felt like weeks, and yet at this point he and Dee had been pals for years. It seemed that time only slowed when Thomas was in big bouts of distress. He wondered now if that’s how it was for everyone.

Dee drug him into his room, past the snake patterned door, and into an...equally snake filled room. Deceit’s room was extremely warm, his bed covered in blankets. He had plenty of light, that could be dimmed if Dee felt it was needed. Tanks were on practically every desk and table, housing a snake, or in one case, a chameleon. Those clearly weren’t the focus, as Dee drug Anxiety to the back of his room, opening up his closet. Was this really some Narnia sort of thing?

Dee pushed aside the clothes in this closet, revealing a door behind it. He stepped in and pushed open the door. Beyond the door, locations shifted across it. A forest, an ocean, a river, a...school? Several places flashed, but it stopped darker looking forest with some mysterious glows. Deceit looked to Anxiety, whose eyes were slowly growing dull. The fear of the unknown started to kick in. Deceit gently squeezed his hand, giving him an assuring look taking a step past the door, hand still holding Anxiety’s.

They stepped through the door and it closed behind them. The two were left in a dark forest, but it was absolutely gorgeous. It was littered with glowing flowers, plants that looked straight from a fairy tale. Dee pulled him off, Anxiety was too focused on the fantastic surroundings to care where they were going. He...trusted Deceit. He thought back to his past while Dee drug him off into the forest. He had already made the connection of the orbs that once watched him in the void, they must’ve been the side’s eyes. Was this...why he found the yellow and brown ones so comforting? Because they were Deceit? From the beginning it seemed that Deceit stuck to him like glue. Envy was fine, so was Pride, but it was Deceit who eventually lulled him from the dark cave of his room.

He was once curious on why there were two sides, one in the light and the other shrouded in the dark. Pride had told him that it was because they were the main sides of Thomas’s personality. Logic, Morality, Creativity, and Care-free. That’s why they were in the light, they had a job to do. Pride had seemed bitter about the subject, and it was quickly changed. Anxiety never brought it up again.

Deceit stopped, taking Anxiety from his thoughts. They had stopped in a pretty open clearing, surrounded in dark trees, odd plants. Dee sat down in the soft looking grass, and Anxiety followed in suit, sitting down beside him.

“So why...are we out here?”

Anxiety’s voice was quiet and low, he was pretty calm. Dee gave a sly grin, looking at Anxiety and then at the dark forest surrounding them.

“Dunno Anx. Thought it’d be boring, thought you’d hate it.”

He chuckled and lent back. Anxiety rolled his eyes and looked around. The place was cool, quiet… He liked it. He didn’t know they could reach the imagination directly like this and...go places. A weight was felt on his shoulder and the purple clad side looked over to find that Deceit had rest his head on his shoulder, tongue stuck out past his lips. He gave a soft chuckle and closed, his eyes. He could get used to coming to this place.

A rustle of leaves and snapping of twigs alerted the two. Anxiety tensed up and got up quick, Deceit followed and stood up with him, looking around. Anxiety knew right where the noise was coming from, and he stood in a protective stance, stance, staring on into the trees. There was a glint as a blade came down on heavy thorns and shrubbery, and from behind…

Anxiety’s eyes widened and his heart rate picked up. It was the red, prince side.

Dee scowled, “Why are you not here, Creativity?”

Creativity looked up, staring at Deceit, then Anxiety. His eyes looked confused, lingering on Anxiety. The prince held his sword at the ready, and Anxiety moved over, almost blocking Deceit.

The prince completely disregarded the question, looking straight at Anxiety, “Carefree…? Is that you?”

Panic shot through Anxiety, and he quickly shook his head, hair moving, revealing his scales. Dee gave a hiss toward the Prince. Creativity’s eyes narrowed and he gave a growl, raising his sword. He almost growled, completely switching from caution to aggression.

“What did you do with Carefree?” He glared down at the two sides with the scales. Anxiety didn’t know what he was talking about. Deceit held his mouth shut and shook his head. The Prince muttered something about the ‘Dragon Witch’ and their minions before bringing his sword down, swinging at Anxiety only to clang… Anxiety had his hand up, a thin, light purple..shield of sorts, protecting his hand from the blade. His clouded white eyes widened and he looked to Deceit, before gripping his arm. Fight or flight- and he was not fighting Creativity. He grabbed Dee’s arm and the two popped out, leaving Creativity in the imagination.

Anxiety had his arms tightly around Deceit in a protective manner as they just appeared in his room, his heart pounding. Creativity was left in the imagination, just as confused as he was furious. How dare...how dare those monsters, those villains. The imagination crumbled down around him, and he was off, returning home.

Deceit clung to Anxiety, frozen in shock. Not a word was spoken, but it seemed they silently agreed not to go back into the imagination, certainly not any time soon. They both fell to sit on the floor.

Several minutes passed before they slowly unlatched from each other. Deceit looked at Anxiety, eyes wide.

“Since when could you conjure a shield?”

His voice was hushed and airy, he still sounded terrified and in shock. Anxiety just shrugged some, he still couldn’t find his voice, and his eyes were still clouded a bright white. Maybe...those sides in the light weren’t as nice and happy as they seemed. Dee made Anxiety promise not to tell Envy or Pride, which he promised not to. Envy would throw a bossy fit and Pride would’ve been pissed more so at the others. They kept what happened a quiet secret.


	3. Chapter 3

Time passed, and they all grew with Thomas. Anxiety had grown worried. Thomas was so close to leaving his home, going out on his own. He had a lot of work to do. Keeping him safe, cautious, but it was hard not being apart of his core. 

He had even started watching the sides in the light from his window again. Stress was clearly weighing on them, the one in the tie...Logic seemed to do the most work. Anxiety could tell they were at their breaking point. They were graduating, school was over but now there was college, taxes, and all of life’s problems. The prince...Virgil was scared to watch him sometimes, but he had no outlet for his creative struggles. They were falling apart, Virgil was growing and changing, and he needed to do something.

He first proposed the idea to Pride, who shot him down quickly. He wasn’t allowed to go over, no matter how dire it was. Pride thought they were doing fine. Envy didn’t seem to be faring well ether, but he also remained on Pride’s side. 

It was in the quiet of his room when Deceit came in to talk to him about it. He seemed worried, Anxiety could see this, but Dee seemed to try and hide it. He pulled Anxiety to the bed so they could sit, giving a sigh. 

“Anx, Pride told me what you were thinking about doing….are you really going to go?”

He seemed to glance back at the door, and Anxiety noticed shadows near the crack of his door. They were listening. Anxiety glanced up, squinting at Dee. 

“If I don’t, I’m not sure… the others are in deep shit, Thomas is too.”

Anxiety’s voice was low, he was scared and nervous. Deceit looked Anxiety over before pulling him up, gently moving him to the window. With the flick of his wrist, the curtain opened, showing the light sides. They were bickering...again. 

“You don’t have to go. You can’t go.”

Anxiety looked at the window, then to Deceit. He could tell he was lying...his voice dropped. Another flick of his wrist, and thoughts poured from his lips without a filter. 

“I have to Deceit!”

Dee… he was trying to pose this as an argument. He quietly opened the window, pushing Anxiety toward it. Deceit continued to tell Anxiety that he couldn’t go, that it wasn’t allowed, bad. He made him protest, all the while getting him right in front of the window.

“You can’t just...leave us, leave me-“

Deceit sounded upset, sad even, but also wanted the best for Thomas, and if that meant losing a friend, then...so be it. Anxiety’s eyes widened as Dee’s hand was placed on his chest. 

“Anx!”

He yelled, and with force, pushed Anxiety back into the window. He stumbled back, falling out of it. Pride and Envy burst in fast, only to see Anxiety already gone. The room faded into a blank, gray box, and the window faded. Pride was furious, Deceit poised as if he were angry and upset. He wiped under his eyes, looking onto where Anxiety had just gone. Light purple scales were added to his own green ones.

Anxiety fell until the room disappeared, and he was engulfed in light. It felt odd, and was bright. He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, but that was interrupted by a hard thud against the carpeted ground. He had literally just tumbled straight into the light living room. Bickering voices died down, and the dark side was left in silence. He slowly pushed himself up, glancing over to where the other three stood. 

Creativity’s eyes darkened and he glared. Fear shot through Anxiety and he scoot back. If looks could kill, he’d be 6 feet under. Logic just looked at him, examining the newcomer. Patton was silent, but his face quickly lit up. The prince conjured a sword in his hand, Anxiety scoot back more, bumping into the couch. 

“That’s him! Look, Lo! I told you. He and that...the yellow one! They did something with Carefree!”

“Didn’t you say they had scales? He clearly doesn’t. Besides, there was nothing they could have done to Carefree. It’s called growing up, just as we once had Innocence-“

“Stop it you two! You’re scaring him!”

Logic and Creativity stopped talking, and the dad like side cautiously approached Anxiety. He seemed to calm down some once they stopped talking. 

“Hey there kiddo. I’m Morality, but you can also call me Dad, or Patton.”

Patton? They had names? Anxiety shifted some and cleared his throat.

“I’m...Anxiety.”


End file.
